just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
