first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
