So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
