if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
