hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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