I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
