Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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