officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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