you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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