I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
