how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Someone came in the potted fern
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
