after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
