So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize