So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
