he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
