That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
