Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
