Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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