we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
