if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize