I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
