sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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