1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
