i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
