We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Randomize
