You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
