One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
