Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
