Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize