What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize