Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
