I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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