Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
