So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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