I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
