True but thats because hes a fetus.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
