Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
