Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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