Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
