you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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