I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize