I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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