Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
