"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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