I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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