$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Who died my cat blue again?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
