i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
