haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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