dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
