My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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