Say something about gay babies.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize