theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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