At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
