Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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