I wish my penis had an off switch
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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