I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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