are you still at the devil's house?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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