Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
