I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
All the doctor said was why
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
