We won't sleep together?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
