I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
