she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
