I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
